I love this little guy

If there was a single malady that I confronted most often in my coacing proactice it would be the almost ubiquitous ‘Imposter Syndrome’. We are all, each one of us so ready, so willing to hold ourselves to such high, even harsh standards, doubting questioning, second guessing the things we do. And in our private moments we wrestle with that most human of questions, am I 'good enough'? (as a parent, child, friend, spouse, team member, leader, believer, accountant ... etc etc)

The relentless, unforgiving judgement of the voice in our own head is one of the most common, shared causes of human suffering today (for those of us lucky enough to live without more pressing concerns like disease, poverty or war). For many of us, our our inner monologue is a litany of critique and condemnation... I woulda, shoulda coulda ... if only I ... why didn’t I, why can't I...

It's one of the world's best kept secrets, that everyone shares and no one talks about. When we look in the mirror, many of us don’t think we’re good enough, as if there was some arbitary bar, some type of scales that we’re all weighed against.

Now imagine for a moment, you were speaking to your infant self (that picture you clicked was of me, in Kindergarten), if that tiny person climbed up on your knee and looked to you, a loved, trusted grown up to tell them what they were good at, how they should react to problems and setbacks, who they were and what they were worth. Imagine if you spoke to yourself then, like you sometimes speak to yourself now...

"Well Marshall, you're going to need others approval to maintain your self worth, and while you'll try very hard, you'll always know you're not quite as good at things as you should be. That's OK, because you shouldn't expect too much, I mean who are you to be wise, remarkable or lovable? Do you really believe you can do, be all that?"

I wonder how me might speak to our little selves if we could go back in time and talk to them today? I also wonder what it would take to be a bit kinder in how we talk to our grown up selves today?